Do you always need inspiration to write? Does it always have to be in an exotic location, or outdoors in the middle of a trek, or in a high-rise of a big city?
What about when you’re safe and comfortable in your home, which is a privilege in itself given the times we’re in. Is mental grief an acceptable reason? Let’s not read into the word ‘grief’. The meaning that comes to mind is heavy sorrow, but a simple trouble or annoyance is synonymous too.
It’s 2020, and we’re restricted, physically this time. There’s a pandemic that has made its way to every country I understand. Majority of the world is on lockdown. Entire cities, complete nations. India has been locked down too, yes a country of 1.3 billion people. It would cost air fare and stay to visit another city in this beautiful land of ours, but today we’ve all been reduced to the same situation everywhere, basis your financial background that is. Some can’t leave their homes as desperately as they want to, while some can’t reach their homes as desperately as they need to. The world and situation as we see it, does not match their perception. We’re afraid of an unseen virus, while they feel the need to protect themselves from hunger, starvation and homelessness, before a virus stands a chance to penetrate their systems and challenge their immunities.
With the frontline workers ensuring or atleast attempting control in a nation gripped in chaos, we’re also thankful for the unrestricted flow of electricity, a broadband connection and all the upmarket ingredients we now list as ‘essentials’. We’re privileged, and now is probably the most gratitude we feel towards our fortune.
And yet, there’s grief. There’s a stillness around when you wake up, the days are longer and the night skies are somber. You miss the physical interaction our bodies were so accustomed to. The keenness of studying at university has kept teenagers away from families for longer, the concept of working in another city has separated a father from his family, the institution of marriage has left daughters yearning to see their families.
One was about to be married this year, one has no house help, one had expansion plans in place, one just got promoted, one has toddlers at home to entertain, one has aged family members left without routine, one may have a family member already hospitalized; but why now, is a question no one has an answer to. Every day there are plans made, every minute there are plans changed; it’s safe to say any day of the year would have brought up the same question, why now? Why at all?
Me? I’m 21 weeks into my first pregnancy.
16 April 2020